Top 10 things I dislike about meat eaters? Consuming meat: worse for plants, worse for animals & worse for you… conclusion? You’d have to be stupid, stubborn, selfish, ignorant and/or all of the above to eat meat in our modern society.

ORIGINAL SCRIPT:
1. They have selective hearing.
Rod: You realize your risk of heart attack is 50% when you eat meat right?
White: So is yours.
Rod: Actually I don’t eat meat, which makes my risk 15%.
White: But it’s healthy.
Rod: If it were healthy it wouldn’t kill you.
White: It’s good for you.
Rod: Do you hear what I literally just said.
White: We’re supposed to eat meat.
Rod: IF WE WERE SUPPOSED TO WE WOULDN’T DIE FROM IT!
White: …it’s healthy.
Rod: God damn it.

2. They treat unfounded myths like facts to propel their convenient ignorance.
Vickie: Dale why are you a Vegetarian?
Dale: Because meat tastes disgusting, it’s better to be a vegetarian & I feel better.
Vickie: But you need meat.
Dale: I’ve been a vegetarian for 5 years, I obviously don’t need it.
Vickie: But you use suppliments.
Dale: No I don’t.
Vickie: Yeah, but you’re all weak and stuff.
Dale: Oh really?
Vickie: Yeah!
Dale: *drops and starts doing push ups*
Vickie: You’re not proving anything.
Dale: Am I? Come push with me.
Vickie: That’s stupid.
Dale: Do it.
Vickie: *drops and tries to push*
Dale: Come on.
Vickie: I can’t.
Dale: Checkmate.

3. They pretend to care, when they really don’t.
Charlie: What are you doing White.
White: Eating veal.
Charlie: Veal, as in baby cow?
White: Yeah, so?
Charlie: So you just have no soul at all then?
White: What? I have a soul!
Charlie: You could of eaten any animal, but you chose a baby.
White: I need meat.
Charlie: If that were true you would just eat the bare minimum, likely animals that made it to adulthood.
White: …ok, so I chose to eat a baby cause it tastes good.
Charlie: You sound like a sociopath.
White: I LIKE EATING BABIES BECAUSE THEY TASTE GOOD!
Charlie: Jesus ****.

4. Many use religion to justify their actions.
Vickie: God put animals on this earth for us to eat!
Dale: You’re stupid, I get it.
Vickie: What?
Dale: *sighs* **** I dislike arguing… but you’re really going to use an invisible unproven entity who was made up thousands of years ago to justify your diet?
Vickie: The Bible is sacred, if you don’t follow it you’re going to hell.
Dale: And the Bible says we should kill Gay people soooo….
Vickie: That’s different!
Dale: Speaking of which, I think there’s something in there about cheating wives too.
Vickie: I’m leaving now.
Dale: Run from the truth, you’re good at that!
Vickie: **** you.

5. A huge chunk of the people who argue for meat, are unhealthy.
White: You should eat meat because you’re too skinny.
Charlie: Actually my doctor says I’m in the perfect weight group.
White: Oh…
Charlie: What does your doctor say White?
White: …
Charlie: …White?
White: …she said I’m medically obese.
Charlie: Yeah, maybe you should adopt a healthier diet.
White: No.
Charlie: So just remain fat then?
White: …shut up.
Charlie: No really, you’re in such good shape, give me more diet tips.
White: …SHUT UP.
Charlie: Karma, you kill and eat animals, they eventually kill you back.
White: *rips huge fart*
Chalie: Well, that’s my cue, meat eater farts are rancid.
White: *laughs*

*hit character limit*